Networking Is Overrated: How Women Can Build Meaningful Connections Without the BS

According to a 2023 LinkedIn report, women are 25% less likely than men to have a professional network. Not because they’re bad at relationships, but because the word networking has become a buzzword so hollow it’s practically a punchline. If you’re a woman who genuinely hates the term, you’re not alone—and you’re also not wrong. But here’s the truth: you don’t need to fake it till you make it. You need to build it.

The Problem with 'Networking'

The word itself is a relic of corporate speak, a vague placeholder for something that’s supposed to be about growth but often feels like a sales pitch in disguise. For women, it’s especially frustrating. We’re told to ‘network’ to climb the ladder, but the system that demands it is the same one that sidelines us. Why bother with a term that’s been weaponized to exclude us? The real issue isn’t lack of connections—it’s lack of meaning. If your network feels like a spreadsheet of LinkedIn contacts, you’re doing it wrong.

The Real Goal: Building Relationships, Not Just Contacts

Let’s reframe this. You’re not networking to pad your resume or collect business cards. You’re networking to grow. The difference is in the intent. When you meet someone, ask yourself: What can I learn from this person? How can we collaborate? If the answer is ‘nothing,’ walk away. Relationships that feel transactional are just stress. The best connections are the ones that surprise you—like the barista who becomes a mentor or the coworker who shares a critical insight during a coffee break.

How to Do It Without the BS

Here’s the good news: you don’t need a fancy event or a LinkedIn profile to build a real network. Start with what you already have. Your existing relationships are your foundation. If you’re a working mom, your spouse, your kids, and your friends are all potential allies. Ask them how they’re navigating their own challenges. Share your own. And don’t forget the people who’ve helped you already—your mentors, your colleagues, your teachers. They’re not just contacts; they’re human beings with lives and opinions. The key is to treat them like that.

If you’re feeling stuck, try this: pick one person you admire and ask them a thoughtful question. Not ‘What’s your secret to success?’ but something like, ‘How did you handle X when you were starting out?’ This shifts the focus from what you can take from them to what you can contribute. And guess what? That’s the most powerful kind of networking.

Why This Approach Works for Women

The beauty of this method is that it’s inherently inclusive. It doesn’t require you to fit into a mold or perform for a room full of people. It’s about showing up as your authentic self. Women are often told to be ‘more confident,’ but confidence isn’t about loudness—it’s about knowing your worth. When you build connections based on mutual respect and curiosity, you’re not just expanding your network; you’re proving that you don’t need to play by the old rules.

This approach also sidesteps the toxic culture of ‘networking’ that prioritizes quantity over quality. You’re not being asked to attend 50 events a month or memorize every person’s LinkedIn headline. You’re being asked to invest in relationships that matter. And that’s where the real power lies. When you build a network that reflects your values, you’re not just creating opportunities—you’re creating a legacy.

The Bottom Line

If you hate networking, you’re not failing. You’re just being honest. The world doesn’t need more people who can ‘network’—it needs more people who can connect. Start by redefining what that means for you. Ask better questions, listen more, and let your relationships be the foundation of your success. You don’t need to fake it. You just need to show up. And that’s the most radical act of all.